Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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