Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
So squirting runs in the family.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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