God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The air was thick with penises
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
