I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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