So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize