OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
