I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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