dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
