The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I am midnight drunk by noon
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
