not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
