apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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