tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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