it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
