is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
what day is it and did you see me today?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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