Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
