Don't you send me to vm
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
