margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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