so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
