Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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