how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
