Duck Duck Cougar?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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