In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
