Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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