i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
