im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
