i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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