you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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