you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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