i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
