Betty ford says i'm here all night
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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