Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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