is your mom at the bar?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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