Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
