I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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