did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
