My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
