we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
