last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I have aggressive nipples.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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