I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
