dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
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