I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
