it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
should my penis look like a turkey
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
