you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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