he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
