Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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