i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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