Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Bring me that man meat
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
