Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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