Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
A bitchslap is in order.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
