This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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