Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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