If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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