need another drink. this is the easiest way
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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